Interesting Weekend...

I'm not sure how to start. I'm not quite sure how it came to this. I'm not entirely sure how I feel.

So I'll try to start somewhere.

Friday was a good night. Laura dragged my sorry butt down to Squires to shoot some pool with her, Joe, Dave, Kelly, and Kayla. After that, we all wound up going to The Cellar for dinner. Laura's sister and was heading into town with her boyfriend (Laura's "brother"), eliciting no small amount of excitment from my little. They met up with us just after we finished dinner, and I dropped them off for a swing dance class that I had absolultely no interest in. After that was over, they came to our apartment, where we hung out for a while. I jammed with Drew (Laura's "brother"), and let me tell you, the guy was awesome. We played a bunch of stuff, and despite my raging sore throat, I was able to pull out some vocals to DMB and Oasis. We started watching the Family Guy movie, but everyone was tired and we stopped it before it ended and called it a night. Good times.

I woke up sometime in the not-so-early afternoon feeling a bit better. I think the sore throat will be gone by tomorrow. I don't know if I'm coming down with a cold or what. Anyway, I had left it up in the air as to whether I was going to the big event of the evening, Ring Dance. Laura and I had been talking about the whole thing, neither of us really wanting to go, but we kind of talked each other into it in one of those "If you go, I'll go" kind of things. So we got a group together and went.

I now know the meaning of being the fifth wheel.

Despite everyone's best intentions, this night just was not meant to be mine. For all the fanfare and tradition, I just could not get into it. I've never felt more out of place in my entire life. This is no one's fault but mine, I should have known this would happen. For some reason, I keep putting myself in situations I know will only end up hurting. Why do I keep doing it?

I certainly hope that this beautiful, $500-dollar piece of jewelry currently adorning my right ring finger will not carry with it these bad memories forever. I hope it will be a token of my entire undergraduate experience, full of good memories. But yet, somehow, it will always remind me of one of the most awkward nights of my life.

This is no one's fault but mine.

But I can't say as it would have been any better if I had stayed home, alone with my guitar and my demons. I don't know whether tonight was salvation in disguise. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out. I knew tonight would be difficult, no matter what I did. I hope I made the right choice.

The rollercoaster of life continues, I just hope I have enough momentum to get over the next hill...