Rollercoaster Trip to NJ

We got back last night from our trip to New Jersey. We went up to see my two aunts and my grandma. We knew as of the day after Christmas that my grandma would be in the hospital when we got there. My aunts had taken her there because she was having severe symptoms of a bleeding ulcer. I'll spare you the details. She had also been having some occurrences of hallucinations, but they were nothing to worry about, according to the psychiatrist, who had some lengthy explanation as to why she was not psychotic. Something about peripheral vision and the brain filling in gaps. That didn't fly with any of us, but whatever.

She got into the hospital and was treated for the ulcers. Yes, ulcers plural. The chemotherapy she's been on for the last two years has been eating holes in her stomach. She had had ulcers for years, but the chemical assault on her body has exacerbated the problem. She began to hallucinate more, and was clearly losing her grip on reality.

When we got to the hospital on Thursday, she was very agitated, rambling and babbling about things that only she could see. Every now and again, she'd have flashes of reality (almost). She was struggling to get out of her chair, which she couldn't do because there was a food tray bolted across it. She was tugging at it a bit, but then stopped, looked me square in the eye, and said, "Justin, help me lift this, I can't carry it." She thought it was some sort of box that was on top of her, but yet she recognized me and called me by name. She did the same to my dad, clearly calling him Harry.

Then she went on about people in the ceiling, clowns in the wall, and gynecologists taking pictures. Looking back on it, that last one was a bit amusing.

None of the doctors knew what the others were doing. The neurologist didn't know what the psychiatrist had said, neither knew what the oncologist had been doing to treat her...It was a flaming mess, and I think my aunts are going to try to have her transferred to a different hospital, where my Aunt Maryanne works. That's probably a good move. The psychiatrist finally evaluated my grandma properly (upon being urged by my Aunt Tricia), and concluded that yes, she was having psychotic episodes. Thank you, Captain Obvious. She's on medication now which is bringing her a bit closer to reality, but the road ahead is not an easy one.

Aside from the emotional trip to the hospital, it was a good visit. Aunt Mare has a new dog, another golden retriever. He's a bit mischievious, but he's cute, so we'll let him get away with it. We exchanged gifts and had a good old time, trying to keep our minds off of the situation with grandma for a while. That sounds horrible, but my aunts have been dealing with all of this for a while now, and it's wearing on them, physically and emotionally. We tried to have some fun. It worked as well as it could, but almost every conversation centered on Grandma.

I'm glad to be home, I suppose. Part of me wanted to stay in NJ, but I realized there really is no point. We're playing a waiting game, waiting for doctors to make up their minds, waiting for the moment of clarity for my mom and her sisters to know what to do with their mother, waiting for any news of anything.

Here's to hoping the new year brings better news. Happy 2006.

Christmas

So the big day has been over for all of 24 minutes, and I feel the need to reflect. I had a great Christmas with my family. So here's the recap:

Got up, Jen and Will came over, and the whole family exchanged presents. And boy am I up to my ears in new technology. I have a boatload of new iPod accessories, 11 new DVDs, some nice clothes (yay for new Hendrix threads!), and an M-Audio recording interface for my iBook. I'll be recording my own music in no time! I also got some really cool Hokie stuff from Jen and Will - I can't wait to beat UVA...at checkers!

I helped Will initiate his new XBox (translation - beating his ass at Halo 2), and then we set to work on fixing my poor desktop. It's been having issues for some time, so we formulated a game plan. Partition the drives, allowing me to store data separately from the operating system, so I risk nothing if I need to reinstall the OS. Partitioning also opens a new door for me - Linux. I will finally have a Linux OS on my computer. I'm using the future tense here because my desktop was so screwed up that even after partitioning, some of my drivers were still MIA/nonfunctional. So we spent about 5 hours sorting that out, doing the partitioning twice more, and then we finally got it all up and running.

So Linux will have to wait. But we'll be getting that installed sometime this week. Rock on!

I just watched the complete Hendrix at Woodstock performance on DVD. Mind-blowing. Utterly amazing. I have a new desire to pick up my Strat and play like I used to. No more of this mellow acoustic stuff, I want to blast the roof off with volume, play blindingly fast, behind my head, with my teeth, et cetera.

OK, maybe not that overboard, but you get my drift. I'm pumped about having the time off to re-learn some of the classics. That, and the M-Audio box has revived my interest in guitar gadgets. The little thing is sweet!

Watching Hendrix also reminded me just how lucky I am. It's a bit of a stretch, but bear with me here. During the Woodstock show, he busts out the most anthemic version of "The Star Spangled Banner" imaginable. It's sweet, it's bitter, it's angry, it's powerful. For those who haven't heard it, you need to find it and listen to it. Don't just hear it. Listen. Jimi pulls the most amazing sounds out of his guitar - bomb explosions, air raid sirens, screams, weeping, it's all there. It was his way of protesting a war that only the minority of Americans supported. Irony at its best. Destruction within majesty. Which brings me back to the present. We are at war, whether we like it or not, and the nation stands divided once again. I feel so fortunate that it really hasn't affected me personally. None of my loved ones are in Iraq, Afghanistan, or God only knows where else. I feel blessed too that there are people in those places willing to fight and die for me, their fellow American, whether or not they believe in the cause either. It's principle.

Whether we agree with the war or not, we can agree on that. We are proud of, and thankful for, the fighting men and women of the United States.

Today I sat in my living room today - warm, well-fed, and loved, and it really becomes clear. The room could have been devoid of gifts, and I could've been just as happy.

Merry Christmas. God bless.

Because I'm Bored and Tired But Don't Want to Go to Bed

And the title says it all. I'm tired because I've woken up at 5 AM for three straight days, but I hate to think that I'd go to bed at 9:13 PM. I've got a reputation to live up to, you know.

Another day, another few dollars from the Mooney Plant. It was a typical day, aside from the surprise DEQ inspection. That was exciting. It was like a pop quiz. About poop and poop analysis.

(Pause for laughter)

I'm really looking forward to the weekend, not only because it's Christmas, but also because I get to sleep in. OK, so I'm a broken record. In other news...

I don't suppose there's really much else going on. I want to say yay for the state courts in Pennsylvania, they struck down Intelligent Design in science curricula. For those keeping score at home, the standings look something like:

PA - 1
KS - 0

Since I've got nothing else of great importance to share (as is typical), I'll just blabber on about what I've been thinking about lately. I set up my electric guitar last night and really jammed out for the first time in a good long while. I thought I had lost a good bit of my chops, but they came back to me mid-solo. Nice. That made me happy.

It also reminded me of the last time I had a real audience. Senior year, final orchestra concert. Which leads me to the spring concert the previous year when I was a junior. We played Hendrix's "Purple Haze" both years, to great crowd satisfaction. The first time around, the crowd was quite stunned, and that slight pause of silence and disbelief right before the thunderous applause was quite satisfying. I had just laid out one of my best improv solos of all time. It wasn't your typical concert, and afterwards, a guy walked up to the stage where I was packing up my gear and said, "I just wanted to say how great that was. I haven't heard anybody play like that since Jimi himself."

Now THAT'S a compliment. I had satisfactorily emulated my guitar idol. That made my night, my week, and my month. I wonder who that guy was...

The reason this comes to mind is that my orchestra director from high school is considering doing kind of a "classics" concert in the spring, reviving a few old favorites, and wants me to come back for a guitar cameo on "Purple Haze." I'll basically be the random guy that walks out onto the stage, melts some faces, and goes home. I hope that doesn't sound too conceited, but I really do lay it all out when I've got a crowd.

Anyway, it's about time for bed. Until the next entry...

Back to the Grind

Today was my first day of work. I'll be with the Service Authority for the next three weeks, doing the same job I did over the summer. It wasn't a bad first day back, I was my old effective self, diving right into the world of Solids analysis (figuratively, for the love of God). The lab crew was happy to see me again, and it was good to be back with them. Good memories of the summer.

I got a nice surprise, in that I get Friday off. It's a bit of a double-edged sword really, good because it's a day off (translation - not having to wake up at 5 AM), but bad because I don't work (translation - don't get paid). All in all, I'm only going to be working 10 days while I'm home for break. Not that I was intending on stashing away massive amounts of cash, but I'll take all the money I can get.

Wow, did that sound greedy.

Other than that, I'm not doing much else. I'll be heading to bed soon (sad, but necessary) and then more of the same tomorrow. Lather, rinse, repeat, and you've got my next few days. Just gotta make it to Thursday at 3 pm...

In other news, semester grades are up. I'm satisfied. Quite happy actually. This has been arguably the hardest academic semester yet (although last spring was pretty demanding), and I came out with really good grades. Yay for hard work paying off. I pretty much didn't stop working from August onward.

And I'm going to hit the ground running as soon as January 17th hits. This upcoming semester will be the real test I have a feeling. We shall see...

DONE

It's finally over. Exam week, and fall semester. I succeeded in not dying while taking my exams, and here I am. Stuck in the 'Burg due to some nasty weather that really didn't turn out to be too nasty after all. The weather was supposed to be brutal, with a two-inch ice storm starting at around 3 AM, so I made the decision to stay here today and head home on Friday. Turns out this wasn't really necessary, but whatever. It gives me a chance to do nothing for once. So I'm playing with the USB Flash Drive I got for Christmas :)

I'll be packing in a little bit, I suppose. I've only been up for about two hours (sweet) and I don't really know what to do with myself. It's actually a really nice feeling. I've been busting my ass for the last week and a half with intense studying for Analytical and Biochem. Both exams went well, I think. I know AChem went well - I got the grade I needed (and then some) for an A in the class. So now all that's up in the air is my Biochem grade, but as I said, I think that went well. I studied more for that exam than anything in a really long time, probably ever.

So with the semester over, I'm 2.5 years into my undergrad, with just three semesters left here at Tech. Kind of sad, but such is life. Time passes, things change. Crap, this means I have to start looking at grad schools soon. Something about a stigma involved with staying at your undergrad school...I don't know if I believe it entirely, but I've got to explore my options.

I'm looking forward to the month home. For the first time ever, I'm working over winter break. I'll be heading back to the Poop Plant to do the same stuff I did all summer. Not glamorous, but as I've said, it was a pretty good job. And I can always use the money. I won't be working too intensely - because of the holidays, most of the weeks aren't full five-day weeks. And I'm getting a couple of days off to visit my family in NJ. All in all, I'll work just under 3 weeks. Doesn't sound like a lot, but it's just some extra cash and a chance to avoid utter boredom, which always manages to hit around Week 2 of being home for winter.

Exam Week

And that time is upon us. The one we all know is coming, but refuse to admit. It's Final Exam season. It's kind of strange, I've been so lax this year about my finals, and the two that I have are the hardest I'll ever face. I remember studying for 3 weeks for my Biology final freshman year. By the time I take my Biochemistry final, I will have studied for maybe a week. I think I may just have become more efficient in my studying. I don't know what it is.

Anyway, last night was good times. Definitely shirked responsibility and went over to Will's for a movie and video games. And wound up there until 4 AM. Something had been telling me to leave, but a much larger something threatened to beat him up. So I decided to stay, and the internal battle ended with none of my innards being shred due to the deathmatch within my conscience.

Back to reality.

I'll be home in less than a week. Six days, to be exact. Then I have a month "off." That means I'll be going back to the Mooney Plant to work with sewage once again, travel to NJ to visit some family, and start prepping for the GRE's, which I will probably be taking sometime this summer. Oh, that's another thing I have to do - work on my goals statement for the summer program I want to do. Yay for pseudo-relaxation.

I've been exceedingly productive today, and that's why I allowed myself some time with the guitar and now this. I worked through two Biochem problem sets, read two more chapters worth of notes, wrote out the mechanisms of glycolysis and the TCA cycle, then read two chapters (albeit short) of AChem, then did five chapters worth of problems for that class.

Not bad for waking up at noon.

And now I'm contemplating video games...