A Day that will be Remembered Forever...

...in a most unfortunate way.

The day began with an eerie feel; the wind howled outside while the sky remained bright and sunny, an odd irony and a harbinger for the events that came.

The first email was strange, almost like the author didn't quite know what to say - there has been a shooting. Stay indoors and away from windows. It echoed of the first day of this year, a tragic event had occurred but no one really knew what to do.

Then the second email - three short sentences. A gunman is loose on campus. Stay indoors. Stay away from campus.

At that point, my heart began to race. Would this be a day full of rumors like with Will Morva? Would this be a bloodbath?

Then the third email - classes are canceled. Stay away from campus, a point which was reiterated throughout the day. At that point, the TV went on and didn't go off for over 8 hours.

The horror came as the newscasters announced the first death. That was heartbreaking to hear. Then the report of an injury. Then seven, eight, seventeen.

Then twenty dead.

Twenty-two.

Thirty-two.

Thirty-three.

It seemed that nothing could stem the bloodshed. We all watched in silent horror at the tragedy unfolding before our eyes, unable to react, unable to speak, unable to do anything but wait for it to be over.

The wind continued to howl outside, like a protest from God, an accent mark on the difficulties of the day. We learned that the killer had taken the coward's way out and shot himself.

I wish he had done that before he took 32 Hokies with him.

We are all struggling to make sense of this horrific event, a capstone on a year marred by tragedy already, and full of anxiety with false bomb threats and rumors. How much more must this community bear? And will things ever be the same?

Will we be able to graduate to the same fanfare that awaited us? Will we be able to attend football games in the fall with the same tenacity and intensity to support our winning team? Will I be able to spend 5 more years here in graduate school with the same enthusiasm of my undergraduate years?

Time will tell.

Time heals all wounds.

This event will take more time than I can fathom to come back from. I don't know how long it will truly take. I don't know what I will feel the next time I walk past Norris Hall or West AJ. What am I supposed to feel? Fear? Loathing? Despair? I hope that the second-guessing will stop. It is pointless to question whether or not the University administration made the right moves. No one will ever know if the loss of life could have been prevented, and it does no good to hope. Bloodshed is the reality with which we are faced, and we must focus on the recovery.

I hope that, in time, we, as a community, will recover from this and rediscover the foundation of the Hokie Nation and the values upon which our Hokie Family was founded. I imagine that we will see great strength over the coming days, that we will put our differences aside and commemorate those who lost their lives.

They are all Hokies. Forever.

Everyone is a Hokie today.

...and it will shake us to our very core

I have had a lot on my mind lately, and perhaps is why I've broken my 8-month blog silence. The following is the best attempt I can make at addressing any of it. If it doesn't make sense to you, it wasn't supposed to. For those that understand, take it for what it's worth.

It is often easier to place blame on an easy target than to deal with a difficult issue.

If you speak of division, look at where the source lies, not where it is easy to create.

Rumors are rarely true.

In looking to the future, examining the past successes and failures is often the only way to improve.

Childish insults, threats, and barbs have no place in a mature adult's life.

When you speak of promises, remember what you also promised to uphold.

The truth is uncovered when mature people face real facts. Whatever the truth is, be satisfied, for there is no honor among those who hope against reality and do whatever they can to ruin it.

I was hoping for something more enlightening to come from this. Perhaps I will post again as I think of something more readable. I write from the stream of my thoughts, and it has been more of a tangled series of rapids lately. I hope that the end will be peaceful.